You’ve got the offer letter sitting in your inbox. Or maybe your boss finally brings up your “annual review.” And you know this is your moment.

Your chance to ask for what you actually deserve.

But instead of excitement, you feel… sweaty.

One part guilt (“What if they think I’m ungrateful?”).
One part fear (“What if they say no? Or worse… what if they regret hiring me?”).

So what happens?
You smile, you nod, you say “Thank you so much!” and then — boom — you’re locked into another year of being underpaid.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Research shows women are far less likely to negotiate than men. And for working moms? The guilt/fear combo is practically baked into the system.

But here’s the thing: negotiating your salary isn’t greedy. It’s essential.

If you don’t ask, you’re leaving thousands (sometimes tens of thousands) of dollars on the table. Money that could cover childcare, credit card debt, that dreamy Quince cashmere blazer, or the Neiman Marcus perfume counter splurge that makes you feel like you again.

So let’s fix it. Here’s how to negotiate salary without guilt, without fear, and with a strategy that works.

#1 – Prep Your Receipts (a.k.a. Build Your Brag Bank)

The worst time to remember your wins is in the middle of a salary conversation. That’s like walking into Nordstrom Rack with no plan and hoping you stumble on the perfect blazer.

Instead, start building a brag bank now.

What goes in the brag bank?

• Projects you led that saved time or money
  
• Client/patient/student impact you created (with numbers!)
  
• Positive feedback from supervisors or colleagues
  
• Any “above and beyond” moments
  

👉 Example:

• “Reduced project delays by 25% by revamping scheduling process.”
  
• “Increased patient satisfaction scores by 15% in six months.”
  
• “Trained 10 new hires, cutting onboarding time in half.”
  

Pro tip: keep these in a Notes app, Google Doc, or even an email folder. Because when you’re in negotiation mode, you’ll want those receipts ready to go.

Real talk: your employer is not keeping track of all your wins. That’s on you.

#2 – Reframe the Guilt

Here’s the thought that gets most moms stuck:

“If I ask for more, I’m being selfish.”

Girl. No.

You’re not asking for a spa weekend in St. Barts (although… noted). You’re asking to be compensated fairly for the value you bring.

Reframe it like this:

• You’re not “taking” money from your company.
  
• You’re ensuring your pay matches the impact you’re already making.
  
• You’re modeling to your kids (especially daughters) that women can and should advocate for themselves.
  

I once had a client say, “I felt guilty asking for more because they’ve been ‘so good to me.’” And yet she was working 50+ hours, managing a team of 12, and hadn’t had a raise in 3 years.

Spoiler: she asked. She got $20K more. And guess what? The company didn’t implode.

Repeat after me: asking isn’t selfish. It’s sustainable.

#3 – Use Scripts to Quiet the Fear

Sometimes the scariest part isn’t the guilt — it’s the what do I actually say?

Here are a few scripts you can steal straight from my coaching playbook:

If you’re negotiating a new offer:
“I’m really excited about this opportunity. Based on the role’s scope and my experience in [specific area], I was expecting compensation closer to [$X–$Y]. Is there flexibility in the offer?”

If you’re negotiating a raise:
“I’ve really enjoyed growing in this role, and over the past year I’ve [insert 2–3 brag bank highlights]. Given my impact and current market data, I’d like to discuss adjusting my salary to [$X].”

If they push back with ‘budget is tight’:
“I understand budget constraints are real. If salary adjustments aren’t possible right now, I’d love to explore other options such as a title change, additional PTO, or professional development funds.”

Notice: you’re not demanding. You’re not apologizing. You’re simply stating your value and inviting a conversation.

#4 – Anticipate Pushback Like a Pro

Fear loves to live in the land of “what if.”

“What if they laugh?”
“What if they say no?”
“What if I get fired for even asking?”

Let’s ground this: 99% of the time, none of that happens. What does happen?

• They ask you to justify your request. (Cue: brag bank.)
  
• They counter with a smaller number. (You can decide if it’s enough.)
  
• They say “not right now.” (Which sets you up to revisit later.)
  

Pro tip: write down your worst-case scenario. Then write down the best-case scenario. Nine times out of ten, the reality lands closer to the best-case — but fear tricks your brain into only focusing on the worst.

#5 – Practice Like It’s a Perfume Counter

You wouldn’t buy a fragrance blind (well… maybe if it’s a Neiman Marcus sample sale). You test it first.

Same with negotiation. Practice saying the words out loud. In the mirror. In the car. With a friend. Even with your kids if you’re brave enough. (“Mommy’s asking for $15,000 more. Say, ‘Yes, absolutely!’”)

The more your mouth gets used to the script, the less scary it feels in the moment.

Confidence is a muscle. And practice reps matter.

Mindset Shift: Negotiation ≠ Selfish

Here’s the part I need you to hear:

Negotiation isn’t about being greedy. It’s about being grounded.

• It’s about creating stability for your family.
  
• It’s about honoring the work you’ve already done.
  
• It’s about making sure your career actually supports your life — not drains it.
  

When you negotiate, you’re not just raising your salary. You’re raising the standard for what’s possible for working moms everywhere.

Final Thoughts + Next Step

Negotiation will probably never feel like a spa day. But it can feel less like an anxiety spiral and more like a normal part of your career.

Prep your receipts. Reframe the guilt. Use scripts. Practice. And remind yourself: you’re not asking for a favor — you’re asking for fairness.

Here’s your challenge:

• Start your brag bank today. Write down 3 wins from the past year.
  
• Practice saying your ask out loud. (Yes, out loud.)
  

👉 And if you want personalized strategy + scripts that feel natural, book a discovery call with me. We’ll map out your negotiation plan so you walk into that conversation confident and ready.

Your paycheck should work as hard as you do. Let’s make that happen.

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There. That should do it!

If you’ve made it all the way here, you’re already miles ahead of most job seekers who are still spinning in circles on Google. And I’m proud of you for sticking with me — because clearly, you care about building a career that actually works for you and your life.

If we haven’t met yet, hi! I’m Jane — certified career coach, working mom, and your straight-talking guide to ditching burnout jobs and landing flexible, better-paying work that actually respects you.

If you’re nodding along but thinking, “Okay, Jane… love this, but I need someone to actually walk me through it step by step” — that’s literally what I do with my clients every day. Book a discovery call with me and let’s build your next career move together.

(And if this whole job search feels like another full-time job you don’t have time for, I’ll take it off your plate and show you exactly how to land interviews without burning yourself out. Click here to book your call.)

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Catch you soon, xx
Jane